Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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