Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
