And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
