Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize