I can text with my tongue
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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