I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
