I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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