Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
