Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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