i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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