watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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