weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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