ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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