Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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