Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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