somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
