I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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