Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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