i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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