i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize