I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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