You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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