You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
