haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
