doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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