Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
