dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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