I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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