I want to stick my p in your. b.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
