Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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