my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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