Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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