it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
