I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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