He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
