Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
