Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
