i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
