I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i came on her dog
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
