The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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