So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The Olympian is in my bed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
