had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
