do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize