I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
