hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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