I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
