I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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