be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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