The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
