Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
